If I were more punk, I’d say I’m pretty straight edge.

But I’m nowhere near punk enough to get away with using that term anywhere real punks could hear it. So let’s just say I don’t drink and I don’t smoke stuff.

That’s just how it’s always been.

I’m the one who remembers what goes on at parties. Everything that goes on.

If I didn’t have this moral compass of mine, I’m sure I’d be rolling in the dough… and probably have many fewer friends… and not getting invited to the interesting parties.

Point being, this is another case of me appreciating songs and whatnot about stuff I don’t partake of.

A song about drugs or alcohol

If you’ve heard any music ever, you know that there are no shortage of songs about drugs and alcohol. Throw relationships in there and you cover pretty much every song, ever… and some of them three times over.

We all know that the rock and roll lifestyle is defined by excess. Today not as much as, say, the 70s and 80s. I’m not sure most newer rock bands could really keep up with the likes of the Rolling Stones in their prime. But there’s still a reputation for being able to party hard.

And where would country music or the blues be without a good number of people being drunk at some point? Or, at least, hanging out at the bar, grabbing a beer.

That lifestyle inevitably spills over into the songs in one way or another. If not in the lyrics themselves, then in the stories behind some of the songs. (Like the story behind that Iron Butterfly song that everyone knows.)

When this prompt came up, there’s one song I thought of right away. It’s got great guitar work and it’s another song that tells a great little story. It’s Eric Clapton’s Cocaine.

One of the interesting things about this song, of course, is that it can be ambiguous about whether it’s for or against cocaine. Clapton maintains that it’s an anti-drug song. But it’s not really “his” song, even though he’s the one best known for it. It was written by J.J. Cale.

Regardless of meaning, it’s a great song and definitely fits the “about drugs” bill. I mean, it is right there in the title and all.

Runners Up

• The Pogues, Whiskey You’re the Devil – Really, you can go with any cover of this classic. And pretty much any other classic drinking song.
• Marilyn Manson, I don’t Like the Drugs (But the Drugs Like Me) – Definitely one of the more disturbing videos (all those big eyes!), but that’s to be expected from Manson, especially in a song about drugs.
• U2, Bad – This is one of those where if the lyrics aren’t enough to let you in on the fact it’s about drugs, the backstory makes it pretty darn clear. Pain and suffering–and compassion for those in pain and suffering–often breed great art.
• George Thorogood, One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer – Yep. It’s about drinking. Surprised?
• Peter, Paul, and Mary, Puff the Magic Dragon – Is it? Or isn’t it? I mean, it was the 60s… and they were pretty laid back… and singing about dragons… and paper boys… (I don’t actually care, I just love the song… and the old cartoon movie.)

Ah, the open road.

It calls with a cry so specifically American. Lauded and romanticized in writing, film, television, and music for decades. (Pretty much since there were cars to drive.)

I remember when the soundtrack for driving long distances required either a satchel of cassette tapes or playing the “Gee, let’s see what kind of radio stations come in here” every hour or so (I was usually driving through mountains).

These days, I just link up my phone to the car audio system and put my entire music collection on random.

Needless to say, I kind of have a mile long list for this particular prompt.

A song to drive to

I’ve noticed that a good bunch of the music I’ve been listing is from the 70s. As I explained right up front, that’s the stuff I grew up on. It’s also the stuff that’s most deeply set in my mind.

I know there’s a lot of newer stuff that I’ve heard that would fit great… but I can never remember any of it when I sit down to crank out one of these posts.

But this time around, I really do think most of the really great driving music is from the heyday of muscle cars and drive-ins… so, between the 50s and mid-80s. And most of the stuff from the 50s isn’t exactly “driving music” so much as it’s “music about driving, cars, and parking.” The 60s has a lot of “road trippin’ music.” It’s when the 70s come in and rock takes a much more rough roll that I think we hit that sweet spot for really being behind the wheel.

Granted, the best driving music isn’t always the best music to keep you obeying all the rules of the road. (Just ask Sammy Hagar about that.)

I’ve always really liked Golden Earring’s Radar Love. The beat and lyrics are literally driving and the whole subject of the song is getting from point A to point B… quickly. With some complications, of course. It tells a good story and that’s important to me. Even when I’m behind the wheel.

The funny thing about all this, if you’re not aware, is that I’m really not a car guy. I don’t really like driving (but I dislike not driving a bit more… or so I’ve been reminded for a while now). And driving music is just awesome.

Runners Up

• Roger Miller, King of the Road –  One of the original road-trip songs. Also a solid pick for karaoke. Plus I’ve known the lyrics to this one since I had my first car. It was on one of the tapes I used to listen to while driving long distances.
• Dire Straits, Calling Elvis – A more laid back driving song, but still one that pushes you forward. Plus, the video has the Thunderbirds in it. No, not the stunt-flying jets, the marionettes.
• Henry Mancini, Peter Gunn – Yes, I’ve seen episodes of the show. But I put a lot more quarters into the Spy Hunter game in the arcade. Most importantly, I’m a fan of The Blues Brothers.

I’ve never been much of a dancer.

There are more than a few reasons for that.

General lack of coordination.

Near complete lack of interest in getting better coordinated for dancing.

These days, lack of desire in general.

And even when I was hitting the dance floor on a regular basis, I can’t really say anything particularly graceful ever happened. Not on purpose, at least.

My theory has always been, “Yeah, I look ridiculous. Just like most of the other people out here.”

But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a tune or two that pulls me toward that space where all the spinning lights are…

A song that makes you want to dance

As I’ve mentioned before, I was born in the 70s. That means I remember all of the 80s and a wee bit of the 70s. To the point: I remember when disco was the thing. Solid Gold was on TV every Saturday (even though I really didn’t watch it) and Saturday Night Fever was still fresh in the public’s mind.

Pretty much any show on TV in that time, at one point or another, touched on the whole disco thing (also on the heavy metal/hard rock thing… but that’s another story) and it was on the radio all the time. All. The. Time.

I’m not really a fan of disco.

But, dammit, if it isn’t fun. Especially the kind of crappy stuff that was overplayed. Over the decades, it’s become more of a parody. Or, at least, referential to silly things (thanks to how it’s been used in movies and TV shows over the years).

It’s also got an infectious beat. And some of the most ear-wormy hooks outside of a Disney tune.

Try as I might, much like Kevin Klein’s In and Out character, I just can’t help it. And it looks just as ridiculous.

Especially when The Village People’s YMCA comes on.

Because you know you’ve got to spell it out with your arms.

Runners Up

• Rob Zombie, Dragula – Sometimes you just need to thrash about a bit. I find anything by Zombie (Rob or White) works well for that. Granted, that usually means I can’t move my neck the next day… but it’s usually worth it.
• Fatboy Slim, Weapon of Choice – I first saw the video to this one on a TV at a Hard Rock Cafe. With the sound off. I had no idea what was going on and had to track it down after the fact. It’s a wonderful bit of Walken, if nothing else.
• Rick James, Superfreak – Or, really, anything suitably funky. A bit more gritty than disco, but equally irresistible dance floor draw.
• OK Go, Here it Goes Again – I could add a number of other songs to this list, but I’ll just stop with this one. Because it’s got an awesome video. An awesome video that you’ll never see me trying to reenact, because I don’t want to end up in the hospital.

When I first glanced at this list, I thought, “Oh! That fifth one should be easy! Especially after that fourth one!”

And then I realized that my criteria for cranking a song is, more or less, if I recognize it or not.

So… that really didn’t narrow things down much at all. Since, y’know, I’m not going to be listing songs I don’t know here.

Which means I’m going to have to be a little more analytical about this one.

A song that needs to be played loud

Now, there’s lots of music that’s great loud. I’ve been out to enough concerts and clubs to be able to appreciate that. (I’ve got the tinnitus to prove it!) And there are definitely some music that, in and of itself is loud. (If it’s already loud, does it need to be played loud?) And, thankfully, there’s some music that really doesn’t do well when cranked to eleven. (At least not for me.)

When I think back over all the music I can remember, there are a handful that literally just scream at me. They say “You believe in this! Let’s shout it to the world!” (or, at least, “Dude! You know this rocks, turn. It. UP!”)

I guess I’ll just grab one of those semi-randomly.

The Beastie Boys’ (You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (to Party) is one of those semi-modern classics. (Or is it an actual classic now… I’m pretty sure I’ve heard it on what passes for a classic rock station recently… crap, I’m getting old.) It’s raucous, it’s got a great hook, and, man, does it tug at those teen angst strings that were woven all around its target market back in the day. Okay, not just back in the day. Today, too. Some things never change.

There’s anger at the hypocrisy of adults. There’s the whole, “Screw this, I just don’t wanna!” idea. There’s the ultimate realization that we’re all bound together by one driving urge: To just ROCK OUT!

I’m not sure if this one’s more counter-cultural or sub-cultural, but it’s got a lot in common with similar songs (a couple of which I’ll drop in the “Runners Up” section… if you’ve got more, drop them in the comments and we’ll make a totally bitchin’ play list).

As a side note, License to Ill was pretty much the first (and perhaps only) time I’ve been ahead of the curve music-wise. I’d caught Fight for Your Right on MTV at some point and then picked up the full cassette without knowing much else. Listened to it a lot, lent it out to a person or two. A few months later, the Beasties were all the rage, everywhere.

And, of course, no one seemed to remember I’d been there first.

Not that that stopped me from rockin’ out.

Runners Up

• Twisted Sister, We’re Not Gonna Take It – Another classic youth protest song. One that’s been used for much deeper reasons than just rockin’ out.
• Joan Jett, I Love Rock n’ Roll– Because, really, how can you not? Most of Jett’s stuff falls into the “Turn it UP!” category.
• Basil Poledouris, Anvil of Crom – Or, really, the entire Conan the Barbarian soundtrack. What is best in life? Cranking this epic music.
• The White Stripes, Seven Nation Army – I just love the beat and the guitar hook, especially when it’s loud.

If the last few of these were tricky, this one especially is.

Why?

Because it specifically asks about something I just don’t do.

I know it’s common practice–even recommended at times–but, well, I made a lot of choices in my life a long time ago to not follow a number of those normal rules. By and large, that’s served me well. Especially in the case of this one.

A song that reminds you of someone you’d rather forget

See, I think it’s really, really important to remember the people in our lives. Even the ones who’ve done us wrong or hurt us.

I think doing so challenges us to figure out what kind of positive things to take away from the situation. To remember what we learned, about ourselves, other people, or the world around us. To note how far we’ve come since that moment when we wished that other never existed. To be able to tell if the pain from that experience is still holding us back… or if it’s opened up opportunities that would have otherwise been closed.

That’s not to say that you let yourself get walked all over in the name of self-knowledge. On the contrary, if you’re going out looking for problems… well, that’s a problem in and of itself and isn’t at all healthy. I’m also not saying you can’t be angry about things that happen–and especially things that are done to you. I’m just a huge advocate of accepting the past and using it to make a better future.

Looking back, I can (and have) honestly thank people who did me wrong. They all helped me become the person I am today. All the pain, all the low times, it’s all given me the chance and/or impetus to dig deeper. To figure out who I really am when I’m just me. To figure out who I am to those around me.

And remembering has allowed me to avoid repeating problematic patterns again, and again, and again.

I made a commitment to this process decades ago. And, so far, there is only a single situation that I haven’t been able to figure out something “good” that’s come out of it. Yet.

So, instead of “someone I want to forget” I guess this is more a tribute to “what I’m still trying to deal with.”

Which also means, there’s not a whole lot of story to go along with The Lumineers’ Ho Hey, because that story is still a work in progress and, until I figure out the ending, really isn’t anyone’s business but mine.

Runners Up

• She Wants Revenge, Tear You Apart –  Sometimes, songs have different meanings than just the lyrics… and sometimes those personal meanings have very little to do with the song itself. Sometimes, things just are what they are.
• Fiona Apple, Criminal – I’ve always liked this song (and Fiona Apple in general), there may or may not be more reasons for including it here.
• Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Storm – Things gather, and crescendo, and spill over. They leave an impact, but are, ultimately, ephemeral.