So, yeah, forty days ago there were 100 days left in the year. I said back then I had a bunch of things I wanted to accomplish. Some of it I wanted to have done by Halloween.

Well… I’ve gotten about half of it done.

No, that doesn’t mean that I’ve actually finished anything.

I’ve just got lots of things started and not quite half done. Each.

Including everything I wanted done by Halloween. (Which makes some of those things no longer relevant for this year.)

I’ve got sixty days left to polish off some stuff in some way or another… and I have little to no ambition to do so in most cases.

For example, it’s now November, which means it’s NaNoWriMo. I kind of want to revisit my former failed experiment of generating a story via Tarot cards. Of course, it’s now nearly midnight, I have work tomorrow, and I spent all the time I should have been writing doing other things.

Like reorganizing my closet.

Which, really, was something that desperately needed to be done–and still has a lot left to be done. But it leaves me wondering what the heck I’m avoiding regarding the NaNoWriMo project.

In my defense, it’s been kind of a crazy month, what with my grandfather passing away and having to run up to NY for the funeral. And then rushing back down to DC to catch a friend of mine’s album release concert tour stop. And the general work stress, of course. And all the new people I’ve been meeting.

Mostly, I’m just lacking focus, I think.

There I things I want to do… but nothing I really want to do.

I used to have things that drove me forward.

They’ve all been gone for a while now.

So, maybe… just maybe… by the end of next few dozen days, I’ll have something figured out that will carry me through the first hundred days of the next year.

For now, I’ll just keep flopping around until I find my way back to the water and remember how to swim.

Or maybe I’ll be tinkering with my inner workings. Trying to get things back into sync. Trying to find the right rhythm again. Getting things to properly tick… like fixing a broken watch.

Yeah, I like that better than being a fish out of water. Just having a gear or two out of place. Maybe a screw loose. Perhaps just an unwound spring.